you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize