I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
