We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize