i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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