Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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