Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im having a threesome with these popsicles
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
