Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
