So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
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I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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