Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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