Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
