she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
