He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
