Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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