So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
