I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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