oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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