ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
where am i from again
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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