fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
