speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
