just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
