Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize