He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
