Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?

(212): View more from New York

Vagina

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(205): View more from Alabama

Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties

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(519): View more from Ontario

Clothes are such an inconvenience.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night

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