I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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