We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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