her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
