my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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