I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize