he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
