I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
