How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize