I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
