We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize