Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
