At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
