I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
