I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I've blown a few things in my day
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts