Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.