call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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