Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
