i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize