Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
the raccoons are back...
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