I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
