road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize