Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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