Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
