I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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