i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
