So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
