Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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