if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
