Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
