Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
