So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
