I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
