Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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