I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize