I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Randomize
