honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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