Your dad touched me again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize