i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize