I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Please don't give away my fajitas
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
