I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
