saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
